Saving Grace At Guantanamo Bay: A Memoir of a Citizen Warrior "Hard as it is to...

Saving Grace At Guantanamo Bay: A Memoir of a Citizen Warrior

"Hard as it is to...: A Memoir of a Citizen Warrior "Hard as it is to believe, one of the most significant stories of the post-9/11 age is also one of the leas...

Still going

Today is my special day. My birthday. My birthday cake of which I ordered and will eat. Reads 65 & still alive. Chocolate with Raspberry filling and butter cream frosting. And purple roses. Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too?
I have always added that Life’s uncertain Eat Dessert first!! I have taken the high road all my adult life never planned never slowed down always had the fun rather than the rational. I cried when I turned 16. I thought my life was over I was old. My deeply loved boyfriend gave me a solitaire diamond ring. It was the best day of my life. That evening as I showed it off proudly to my parents my father asked. “Let me take a look at that” I innocently handed it to him. He said” As he handed it back to my tall dark and handsome boyfriend standing arrogantly next to me. “She can have it when she turns 18. That was the end of my Daddy’s little girl relationship with my father. From then on, he never trusted me or had much love for me. I think it broke his heart that there would be another in my life. And to this day, I really believe that he turned against me. I can honestly say that our love was innocent I had never had sex. Never drank. Never did a drug. It was chaste little house on the prairie romance as could be. I have had turmoil in my life many, many life threatening illnesses. Four husbands. (never marring the one I wanted at sixteen.) Having the chance many times through his four marriages. But always backing out. I think my father ruined it from the beginning. But finally I found one I could love and cherish and have been a good and faithful wife, for the past thirty years.. Fifteen years ago I was diagnosis with renal cell cancer. I had my kidney removed , (among other things) and told I had five years. Beat the odds…. I am still here. And give praise to the Lord because He isn’t through with me yet and for that I am so very Thankful.

Lifes meaning seem to change with seasons for some. Lately mine change with the tide tables.

Have been on the move lately.
My life needed a refresher course. In addition, so did several others in my family.
Nothing major just a pending divorce and total change of address. (piece of cake? Right?)
Moreover, a total climate attitude makeover. (Chuckle). That was just two of the people. The rest are rolling over in their preverbal graves, nests and buckets of poop. As they deal with the fact that life is Grand… and if it isn’t then get the hell out and make a new one. I have always heard of the cliché’ ‘Like father like son’ Yup and a very truthful thing. In this situation. But as for the case ‘Like Mother like Daughter’ I have come to the conclusion that is a good thing. My life has been in a rut. However after much consideration rather than change Horses. In midstream. Retirement sounded like a better choice. However, convincing my spouse was darn near asking him to streak down Main Street. Therefore, I just took a vacation and simply said I am not coming back. Come visit. All of a sudden, his attitude was a little clearer.
He has to realize that if he thinks he can continue to work a fifty-hour week at 68 years. So be it. I cannot and my health was proof. Nevertheless, move he did now a part time employment that is more a hobby in disguise will do him fine.
As for the daughter, her situation was much more unstable. You divorce someone because they are total jerks and can’t seem to understand the word. Monogamy and then turn around and married them again just to prove a point. There is something wrong with that completely. For the sake of the kids? Didn’t want to be alone? BS -Total -BS. Kids grow up take sides make their own rules and you are left with the same void that you had. So strike two. Move on . Now mothers wise mouth says “Go for it” Whatever, whoever and where ever.
Life is too short, not be happy. Moreover, the more people (supposed friends, and/or relatives) get riled the more it was obvious that there needed to be a change.
I hate words like norm, ruts, stable, conform, “don’t rock the boat” More BS. Sink the damn boat. Swim for your life and breathe, Take chances right or wrong at least you’re living. Random thoughts of an old white woman

I can see clearly now

Horoscopes are for those who are blind. Crystal Balls are for those who dream. Life is for those who survive.
I say screw luck, and four leaf clovers Be prepared for the life you want. Be a doer not a dreamer. Don’t stand by and watch everyone else live the way they choose while you are swept aside when your service is done. Get on with your bad self. Gravity is pulling you down to the grave. Lift up your spirit and climb your mountain and then stand beside it and say be removed you have the power to live, laugh and maybe even love again. Go go go gogogogogogogogog!

Life's retched demands

Life’s messages are

sometimes ruthless.

Although I would like to live a quiet life

full of flowers in shades of blues and yellow.

I am handed the aura of

Browns and Reds in measure.

I want to live in colorful hues of light.

Yet I get storms and

multiple flavored bitterness.

Take me back to candy land games

and monopoly money.

Lincoln logs and Pez.

Take me back to the purest of Easter

and May Day ribbons, of my childhood.

Give me a taste of Sensuous beings, and stolen kisses.

Give me back the richness of my youth

When I was sheltered and full of harmony.

“A manly Man that Reads.”

I had to comment on a line from a friend of mine.
“A manly Man that Reads.”
Oh, my She had never met one. Ok so I thought look at all the men that are Authors. Are they manly? Yup I found a few. And why not? They want to keep up now a days.
Manly men just don’t ride Ape handled Harley’s and Horses the don’t have to wear Ten gallon hats and drive Silverado’s or Rams. But they do have to pick up a book now and then to see what Women are writing about them. So how about it guys do you read?
Better yet I bet some of you even Write!

Memorial Day

On Thanksgiving  I give Thanks for what I have
Memorial Day is the Day I pause to give
Thanks to the Veterans who fought for what I have
 Some Holidays only mean food sunshine and three days of no work.
This Holiday reminds me of all those who are not here to share my three days.
RIP Josh.

Pondering on Mothers day

Thinking of future

Mothers Days

　

Yesterday’s,

conversations

ring in my ears.

sharing conclusions

From passed years.

The aged sharing

of easier times

Their mothers quoting

their favorite rhymes.

A Mothers day

Remembered.

Another year passed.

The old speculate

Next year,

who

would have passed?

conspiracy theorists

As if us conspiracy theorists didn't have enough to think about !!
We are giving aid to a foreign government who harbored this thug for years- meanwhile, food pantries and assistance to US elderly and the disabled are suffering cutbacks....sorry, I just don't see how, we let this go and happen.
In the USA if you have an 12 foot high wall topped with barbwire, and a radar tower on top you can bet your butt, this place would be checked out!!
Why are we dishing out billions to these countries? They clearly hate us, cannot be trusted, but are manipulating us & using us.. This is a disgrace & embarrassment.

Obama: Al-Qaida head bin Laden dead May 1 2011

A small team of Americans carried out the attack and took custody of Bin Laden's remains, the president said Sunday in a dramatic statement from the White House.
Halleluiah! Justice for so many that suffered without it for almost ten years.
Never underestimate our Troops, Honor them with every word and prayer they are what keeps us free. In addition, as an after thought Watch you own backs for while too! This was not the only criminal that leads Al Qaeda. Will there be retaliation? Will we need to up our security now? Until we can get number two three and four?
Gadafi next Then who? It never ends but one thing is for certain America is still a fighting nation fighting for freedom for everyone. For those Pakistanis that are living here for all races living here. Let everyone pray. Their own way, that Peace can prevail in America.

To sum up your most fears is to open wide your venerability. Lay open your heart, your soul if you believe you have one and tell someone what the entire world can use against you. Sometime we set ourselves up in a way to take a fall just to get out of facing something we know we cannot do. I don’t believe people are lazy I believe they are afraid to try. Afraid of failure on such a high level that they just take the name of lazy to hide behind it.
A bully is also afraid. Afraid to face the fact that they aren’t a good person that they can overpower you with fear and it is fear in them that make them the bully. . I like to put to the test my ability to defuse problems. I analyze things until I feel I have found the underlying cause of no farther to dig no more answers. I think that is called obsessive compulsive. I call it Anal-sizing.
If you cannot physically do something because you have no limbs for said something. You try to find away to do it anyway. Those of us that have those limbs try to find a way around not doing it at all. Goes along with the girl that has straight hair wants to have the curly hair. I Drove long haul with my husband for a few years the only way we would be able to go traveling was if we trucked. The stupid things we hauled Oranges from Florida to California and Oranges from California to Florida. Now that was stupid be happy with your oranges and stop wasting the diesel. However, that is how we do things. Work around not through. Cover up not solve. Frustrating to say the least. I hate taking medicine I want to find the problem cut it out. kill it or beat it naturally. Old age is something else that is frustrating. I do not want to grow old. Nevertheless, my body is having a difficult time staying in its earlier state. I haven’t tortured my body did not fill it with alcohol or drugs, nicotine and yet it is quitting me. I always say life’s uncertain eat dessert first, so why do I eat the mashed potatoes and gravy. I guess I am one contradiction after another. However, I am still an individual! I am not a bully not lazy, not a liar. Not a glory hog. And I will be dammed if I am going to tell anyone what I really fear, I am not a bigot, I am willing to hear your views just don’t expect me to adhere to them if they aren’t mine. I am not a racist I deal with whatever color creed religion etc you are if you do not tread on me I will not do like wise. I am not a loner when I want to be a lone I will tell you leave me alone. I am a hard worker if I believe in what I am working for. No pay no privilege just a belief, and I am honest. I do fight not flyaway. When really scarred of some thing I will land with both feet teeth and every breath in the middle of it. I am me.
Take it or leave it………

Never to old to dream big

As many times as I would like to blog about my adventures my follies, I refrain. I read other blogs and think I should write these feeling down. However, who would care. Now I don’t mean for that to sound depressed. I am not depressed only bored at a time in my life when being retired should be a blessing. I am not aging well. I do not feel nor do I want to act like a senior citizen. Unless of course it is on the day, I go to the thrift stores in Eugene. They have great bargains, of which I need nothing. Nevertheless, I am always proud to say oh yes and I am over fifty-five. (Well over).
My good friend and Author (and I) want to start women’s retreats this summer at an old Hippie village near her residents. I am all for it
However, I feel there is so much more to be had at this particular place and if all goes well I want to pursue some leads I have for a rejuvenated summer camp. The place is in total disarray. However, with my enthusiasm and her accountant abilities, perhaps we can find some people old and young to help revive the old place. It is run by a corporation and we are going to try to rent it for the summer. If I can keep myself my dog, my motor home and perhaps even my husband if he will leave our own farm, for any length of time. I would love to restore the many faceted camp. Wish me luck I am perhaps not only a random old woman but an unrealistic one as well. But hey why not? Life is short Eat dessert first, I always say.

Where did they go from here?

Do you ever wonder about people from your past?
Wonder if they are still alive or where they went after your relationship was over and you or they had moved on?
I often do an online search for those that have touched my life in a way that I had never forgot.
Weather it had been personal or business. Whether it had been a good experience or a bad one.
I like to catch up, see if they have had happier times or been thrown aside for the things they had done.
So many people cross our paths but do we stop and wonder why?
Were we to have learned from them or they from us?
Where do people go how much did they mature?
Now that I am one of the elders I asked my self What if?…
What if I had gone through some of the things I had backed out of business deals, trips, marriages.
Where would I be now would I be satisfied with how my life had turned out?
Sometimes I will get a shiver just thinking about things that I managed to survive. Most of which I would have been held responsible for in this day of age. However getting away with nonsensical things that young teens do now. Don’t compare to the simplest of my youthful years. Because of media and instant communications, You don’t get many do-overs.
I think I will just be happy that things turned out as well as they did and simply say I am Blessed.

The Reality of writing

Writing is what I do.
Interesting and factual is a necessity for me to make my stories very real. Weapons, Tactical correctness
Learning from true Law enforcement, Military, etc. is important.
I thank each one of you who help me make my Books the real thing. . My chacreters portray real people who have real jobs They need real traits, I get those from several sites that I enjoy. You all know who yuo are. Thanks.

Friends.

On all the social sites I visit I realized the variety of friends I have. Sport friends, Cooking friends, Hiking/Camping  friends, Author friends, Want to be Author friends, Militia friends, NRA friends, Vegan friends, Foreign friends. Missionary friends and a couple Agnostic and Atheist friends.
There is no animosity, no political feelings for these friends.
No limits on what they wear, what they think, say or do.
I don’t care what the eat or don’t eat. Who they are related to or what their mission in life is. They for some reason just are:
Somewhere we connected in some little facet of my personality we joined the same group and became Cyber friends.
So tell me why do we have wars? Why do we dislike others that look or seem different? Why can’t we all just leave each other to our own personal lives and..... Be Friends?

How many ways to skin a cat. or smuggle drugs

Given the fact that the population of the United States is the largest user of illegal drugs in the world, with one in six citizens claiming to have used cocaine.
The UNODC, United Nations Office on Drugs/Crime, reviewed the efficiency of the actions taken by the Colombian government for over twenty some years. The US needs to take some responsibility and reduce the demand for cocaine. Colombia is one of the largest recipients Under something called, Plan Columbia. U.S. foreign aid has given almost $5 billion over a period of years. Yet these funds have primarily funded eradication and interdiction, as opposed to economic development or regional security narco-traffickers coupled with narco-terrorists, make homemade submarines that can carry four people and over eight tons of cargo. (Cocaine) They are painted so you can’t even see them in the ocean. What is that old cliché “Where there is a will there is a way”? I am at present writing a fiction story about just this sort of thing, some of my facts here are already behind times. I love researching. And of course My books all have happy endings. Lol. www.jKathleen love-author.com

Keeping it real

I like to research everything . So that my stories are not only up to date but the reader can see the cartridges flipping to the right of the Simi automatic, things like that. But not over kill with colors lengths of gowns and what kind of flowered embroidery is on the neckline. If it is low cut or looks like a school teacher, the avid reader gets the drift. However, when it come to the bedroom…. Hey we all know good sex, (well we should) and the imagination can handle the details. Keeps your characters above reproach, unlike politicians...lol. Some stories require a little erotic flair but keep it to a minimum. So that your reader can fantasize a little in their own scenes. Twists and turns are great and unexpected stuff, is what keeps them turning the pages.

Just a thought.

Chief was asked by a white government official, You have observed the white hi-tech progress. 'Judging all this, where did whitey go wrong?'
Chief replied. 'When white man find land, Indians running it no taxes no debt plenty buffalo plenty beaver clean water. Medicine man free. Indian spend all day hunting fishing; all night having sex.' Then the chief leaned back and smiled. 'Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.' Got-ta Love my Indians..
You figure a Government big enough to give you everything, is big enough to take away everything you have.

Loosing my America

Experience is what you call your mistakes
The American Experience is starting to really go down hill
maybe because there are less and less Americans.
We are the melting pot for the world?
No we are becoming the Arm Pit of the world.
Any other country you move to Says; Learn our language. Our customs. Our laws.
America changes for everyone to the point of becoming the,
Non - American country.
Not long from now we will be will become,
The U- United S- Stuffed A- Aphorism.Our History. Our One Nation under God, will not exist.
Just a cliché for the world to laugh at.

Feelings about Internet Flirt sites

When trying to get out the proper words for a story line it comes easy.
The Characters are in my mind. Descriptions, plots, villains and of course hero’s. They just blossom to life.

However there are those in reality, people, places and things that are already founded in what God created them to be.
Rocks, Scissors, Paper, Ranchmen, Writers, Bakers & Thieves.
Therefore, when you are introduced to that which you have no way of naming it begins as a game then a challenge. Over time it becomes something of “it’s” own. Forbidden, Fulfilling, But never Forgotten. And oh so consuming.
It might be days weeks, years “it” with no guide lines has been planted, watered, mulched, back again much like your Strawberries and Garlic. Always returning to bloom, supplying your needs.
When sudden loss and loneliness enter, And oh it will: Quiet tears will stream down your cheeks. No one will see them, no one will know. Alone in your thoughts, alone in your house., your car. alone no matter where you are. Unable to share your frustration, your secret.
A void only that phantom admirer could have filled.
Only that internet connection holds the key to the adulterer who brings sunshine into your garden of life.

Will you be around?

The projections released today, based on census results and assumptions about future childbearing, mortality and migration, show the minority population of the U.S. will be 235.7 million out of a total of 439 million in 2050. More than half of all U.S. children are expected to be from minority ethnic groups by 2023.

By 2030, after all baby boomers reach retirement age, almost one in five U.S. residents will be 65 or older, the bureau said. There are expected to be 88.5 million people over 65 in 2050, more than double the 38.7 million in the U.S. today, with an estimated 19 million of them over 85, up from 5.4 million today. U.S. White Population Will Be Minority by 2042, Government Says
Thirty one years from now.
If I am here I will be ninety-five. Not going to happen. My family has been in their late nineties when they passed way, but I don’t want to, this old world as I know it will be long gone.